Do you want to reduce stress?

Stress. We love it and we hate it. We hate it because is paralyses us, and we love it because it helps us to get stuff done. There’s nothing like the stress of a deadline to be uber focused and finally get that task nailed. But too much of it and we’re in a state of panic and get nothing done.

It’s not surprising that we struggle to wrestle it under control. How can we possibly get rid of something that, deep down, we like? Well, our subconscious won’t let us and so we can’t. And actually we don’t want to. Instead, our main objective in managing our stress should not be to get rid of it but to achieve balance with it.

You see, everything has a good and a bad side. Don’t believe me? Here’s my challenge to you… think of anything… a person, a thing, an emotion …  ANYTHING! I can guarantee that there are GOOD and BAD aspects to whatever it is that you have picked.

You might consider that something is good, but if you had it in excess (or in tiny amounts), then you’d probably change your mind. Yes even money! How many lottery winners spend all their money because they didn’t like what it brought them? Lots of them!

Well the same goes for stress. We like a bit of stress because it keeps us moving and motivated. But when we have too much, it all becomes a bit much and we’re bit like rabbits in headlights. In an ideal world we would get rid of the negative aspects of it, but keep the good bits. Sounds impossible huh?

Not at all. And here’s how.



First all identify the things in your life that are stressing you out.

Just grab a pen and scribble. Don’t hold back. Your list might include things like

I hate it when Mary from accounts changes my work without asking me

it really winds me up when my other half leaves their stuff lying around and they don’t tidy up

when I reach the last £100 in my account I get really scared and it stresses me out

Give yourself a bit of time to build this list and don’t be afraid of letting rip. You might have quite a long list and that’s just fine. Just try not to let your growing list stress you out!



Once you’ve managed to capture all those life stresses onto your page, take a nice deep breath* and take a moment to cast your eye over your list. (*a tasty hot drink helps here)

The next task is to review what you’ve jotted down and see if there are themes or similar things that are getting repeated, just in different contexts. You might notice that quite of few of the things that you’ve written are essentially all about other people doing stuff without checking things with you first. In which case, that’s the common element that you need to focus on.

Now take a clean page and split it into 2 columns. In the left hand column you need to write your reviewed and edited list of stressors. If there are themes or common groups of things then keep similar things together.

Now I want you to revisit each item on your list and ask yourself this:

What value of mine is this in direct conflict with?

Your values are those things that are really important to you, a bit like your unwritten rules for how to behave and how the world is/works.

So going back to the earlier gripes we talked about, possible areas of value conflicts could be

I hate it when Mary from accounts changes my work without asking me

>> respect, control (you’re not in control of the changes she’s making)


it really winds me up when my other half leaves their stuff lying around and they don’t tidy up

>> tidiness, cleanliness, respect (they don’t respect your space/how you like things),


when I reach the last £100 in my account I get really scared and it stresses me out

>> financial security, abundance, freedom (you feel trapped),

As you go through your list, use the right hand column to write down all those values that apply. From the examples I’ve used above, you can see that each stressor might have around 1-5 values related to the cause of the stress.


Step 3

Now go back and review your list in your column on the right hand side. Notice which values are cropping up time and time again and think about how important those values are for you in your life. It’s likely that the areas that are causing you the most stress are those that are related to your top personal values.

You might want to make a new list from the values that you have identified as part of this exercise. If you can’t be bothered, don’t’ worry. Just be sure to notice where you’ve repeated yourself.


Step 4

Let me warn you now… the next part of this stress reduction plan is not going to be as quick. Why? Well, we are going to address each item in both your lists – the left hand one and the right hand one.

Address them? Yes. We are going to clear out that stressy energy from each item thus reducing its ability to stress you out. Now just stop for a minute and imagine how much of an impact that can make in your life. If each of those things that are currently stressing you out, suddenly STOP stressing you out – just imagine what is going to happen to your stress levels? South! They are going south baby! Yeah!

Are you ready for this?

To do this next bit you will need our “Clear your head trash guide” that’s available to download for free on our home page, right here.

Once you’ve downloaded our guide, you have all the pieces you need. Within our guide are the instructions for using our Head Trash Clearance method. On page 13 of our guide there are some phrases that you’ll need to say to yourself as part of the clearance work. There are 10 phrases in all and each phrase in our guide has a blank. All you need to do is fill in the blanks using the items you’ve listed in both the left and right hand columns.

Start with your list of values because this is where all your stress starts: when your values are being challenged.

Once you’ve worked through your values, then move on to the actual events/things that wind you up.

By the time you have worked on each item on your list, I can guarantee that your stress levels will be massively reduced.

When you work on clearing the negative energy from each of these items on your list, make sure that you follow the instructions in our guide. Especially the bit that refers to creating balance by working on the opposite (this will be clear to you once you’ve read out guide – just make sure you do it!)

Our Head Trash Clearance method, Reflective Repatterning is a very powerful tool in creating change. So powerful that many can’t quite believe it that something so simple can be so powerful and effective. This is why you need to follow our instructions.

Good luck and let us know how you get on, either in the comments or by emailing us.